I have had multiple events including witnessing a craft. all through my childhood i had experiences with apparitions, beams of light, light bulb explosions, objects falling, orbs, missing time and floating in a paralyzed state up to the ceiling to name a few. from age 8-11 i would awaken in a terrible state of psychosis and revert to a childlike state with horrible thoughts of inevitability, meaninglessness or the idea of nothingness, voices in my head, and my parents would try to calm me. one time i awoke in this state in the middle of the night with the thought of jumping through a sliding glass door to end the state. another time at age 8 i awoke with temporary paralysis of my legs. i will write two of the events i find most interesting. event one: i was at my grandfather's house in nampa idaho with my family at age 13-14. i awoke in my grandfather's basement extremely hot with the idea in my head of going outside to sleep in the camper where it was cooler. i entered the camper and lay in the upper bunk next to a large viewing window in the front. i assumed i was asleep when a white beam of light hit me in the chest illuminating my whole body and i saw clearly the outline of my body from the inside. i was jolted awake with what felt like a shock, and realized there was a being in the camper blocking my exit. the idea in my head was that there was no escape but fight or flight kicked in and i ran out past whomever was blocking my way and into the house. event two: i was taking a nap in the afternoon at age 15 in my basement room in ogden utah. i had horrible dreams of a world of war, death and destruction. in a state between sleep and awake, and overcome with a terrible feeling that i wanted to awaken, i was calmed by the sounds of my parents in conversation upstairs. sleeping on my stomach i was instantly aware of an opaque being behind me in the corner of the room floating like a figure on a masthead at approximately 130 degrees. in an instant a question appeared in my head: benevolent or malevolent? and i realized it was the latter. i pushed myself off the bed to escape but only made it inches before i was paralyzed as if an opaque blanket were thrown over me; i could see light but no detail of the room. my mouth opened to scream out to my parents who i believed were upstairs but no sound came out. the "blanket" rose up off me for an instant, descended again over me and then disappeared and i ran upstairs and outside, realizing my parents had left to run errands and i had been home alone all along. (much like the previous idaho experience later when it was winter i awoke extremely hot with the idea in my head of going outside and sleeping in a snowbank. when i awoke later i had melted my way into the snowbank and returned to my bedroom. also, another time i had awakened in a trance in the middle of the night to go for a bike ride. these events are of interest to me after reading intruders by budd hopkins where a thought is entered into the mind of the subject with the intent of making the subject more accessible. the attached video uploaded is of a craft i saw in kew gardens, ny on the morning of april 22nd of 2018. it has not been edited but one can clearly see the craft blinking in and out of view above the power pole. when i first saw it before i started filming it was lower behind trees and flashing metalic in the sunlight.