I d like to bring to you a fact I have kept to anyone but my wife and that is highly troubling me. Last week on the night from wednesay to thursday at around 3 AM I had been working a helluva lot on my computer for all this alexandria project and sending out emails to french UFO Organizations and decided to go and have a smoke outside as I am a smoker for a break to get my head off this stuff for a little while and as I had a stiff neck from all the time sitting bent over my laptop on my desk. there is a place I like to go at night watch the sky in my garden while looking at a specific pine tree quite high in my neighbours garden and having at the same time a view on the stars , its very relaxing to me , and frankly the sky here is crystal clear when the mistral wind blows as it had the previous day , taking any cloud away.chilly but relaxing and close to nature. this area i like to stand watch is a footstep away from my back patio.while having my cigarette , I tell to myself turning arounf to the patio which is open to the outside and covered with a roof under which stands what french call "a summer kitchen " some sort of exterior kitchen (some kind of barbecue area for americans except there really is a gas stove , sink and all necessary stuff for cooking outside meals , and is bonded with a whole bunch of bric a brac stuff.so tell myself 'time to clean up this mess i will do it tomorrow".must have taken about thirty seconds. I feel something tingling and turn around and watch the skyright at that spot above the pine tree , a triangular ufo with four red lights under it forming a square , not blinking , just constantly lit appears or seems to appear as I hadn t heard it approach , nor seen it for that matter.it was hovering above the neighbours garden past the tree but seemed right above the pine tree from my standing position. suddenly I feel panicked and observed , or simply noticed and run from patio to the front door which was distant about 15 yards away alongside the house , just a corner of the house to reach.As I arrive at the corner of the house , I hold on to a gutter which drains water from the roof to the sewaer directly and feel like paralyzed and my eye sight became blurry while I recall one thing before remembering waking up in my bed the following morning: I thought "Missing Time" in English. I usually think in French as I have been speaking french seemingly forever.the fact of thinking that term in english was awkward. As I woke up the following morning , I told my wife I had a dream that seemed just so realistic that I felt the cold , dreamed as never before as it seemed so realistic and colourful: I could feel absolutely everything had that been a dream.suddenly I realized that the state I was in was similar to that of an operation I had at hospital last september when I was operated on my left arm and only shoulder was put asleep but as I was anxious , the surgeon had the nurse give me a product that just put me in an altered relaxed state of consciousness during lapses of sleep.I recall for instance being in a room at hospital , waking up with a bunch of people in beds as myself , speaking to a male nurse , him answering me and falling back to sleep , knowing this had ben real as I had spoken to that same nurse on my waking up after the operation had been done successfully.that operation had been the kind when you come in at morning and leave at night , french calling it ambulatory hospitalization for a day in short. That episode at hospital seemed like a dream but was however a chemically induced antianxiety process which somehow disconnected me from reality.when I woke up , I was glad all had been well as I hate being operated on or simply in a hospital. the following morning when I spoke to my wife , I recalled the episode but wondered how I d landed back in my bed and was just plainly puzzling me , and has since. When I d seen the USO from the yacht in the Bahamas in 1989 I was very excited and flabbergasted about this experience which was quite something extraordinary.at the contrary , this one is absolutely mind boggling and I do not know how to react to it. Could you please give me some advice on this one. I have told to myself that working so long on ufo contacts , investigations and such on the past weeks for long hours everyday has made my brain "see what i was reading" or something like that , but I am still very anxious and no longer go close to that patio to have my smoke and feel uneasy when looking at that scenery now. The craft in itself was plain rectangular and was wbout 160/ 170 degrees above me to the horizon and seemed not to move while i ran for the door.I was able to see it clearly as street lights nearby are lit all night long , and could see it s shape with the disappearance of stars in back of it. Finally , just thinking about this experience just makes me plainly sick and induces nearly panick attacks.I have never experienced anything like this and would like to have your feelings about this please. It comes at a moment where I am contacting quite a few people in the ufology field and have joined a large organization in same and trying to get comprehension of this phenomenon more global so as to advance faster in understanding it. afew years back , in a street adjacent to the one I live close to the med , a few inhabitants have seen a UFO hover arounf this area but descrition was different.and only flew above to disappear where here I have no clue to what happened afterwards as I was plainly pralyzed and tried to resist this power with great will before thinking missing time and waking up in my bed. This to me is just absolutely shocking as I feel violated in my own home , that is the best I could express what i do feel.